Phase 19
It was another restless night, which was to my dismay because of my work the next day. I was just sitting up all night, twiddling my fingers in my lap, the moon shining dimly through the windows.
It was about 3 in the morning when I felt it necessary to find something to eat. I quietly opened the bedroom door and peered into the hallway, even though I knew nothing and no one would be there. I then walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. To my right I saw Lucas passed out on the couch, a mess of popcorn on his stomach. He was still watching the television when I had left for my room. The tv on mute gave enough light for me to pull a bag of chips out of the cabinet. I set the bag on the counter, opened it, and began to eat some. I wasn’t terribly hungry, so I ate slowly. I watched the early morning shows on tv, watching the hosts’ mouths speak, finding it fun to try and figure out what they’re saying.
Then, I heard something hit the floor and scatter, quietly. I picked my head up higher and looked at Lucas who had rolled over on the couch. The empty bowl of popcorn was on the floor, rocking back and forth, and Lucas was rolled on his side, cuddling the empty air. I then saw the strangest thing I’ve ever seen Lucas do. His arms shot up to his chest, and he rolled over, back onto his back, and he arched himself, raising his chest into the air. I watched in fear as I saw beads of sweat roll down his face. I watched as his breath increased and his chest was rising and lowering heavily.
I couldn’t bare it anymore and I ran to the front of the couch and began to shake him and say his name. First quietly, then louder, and louder. His eyes opened and his pupils dilated to just a tiny hole as he raised himself from the couch in a trance, he then put up his hand to slap me, in fear. I winced and brought my flat palms up to cover my face.
“R- Roslyn?!” Lucas panted. He put his hands back down to his side, “What time is it?”
“It’s about 3 in the morning last time I-…” I cut myself off, “What just happened to you?” He was still, quiet, and breathing heavily for quite some time until he could answer me properly.
“Mercy… I-…” He paused, “It’s nothing… You know.”
“But…. That looked…. Brutal…!!”
“It was!” Lucas was tense, irritated. “God, you don’t even know. You just WAIT!” I backed off slowly, then returned to my room.
4… 5… 6… I couldn’t get to sleep. All night, all I could hear was Lucas. Tortured. Screaming quietly. Dying on the inside. Nothing I can do.
That morning, when I entered the kitchen to gather my work papers, I saw that his ‘night terrors’ finally stopped. His back was no longer uncomfortably arched, his sweat was still, his breathing was normal.
I did my best to keep quiet, and I succeeded after shutting the apartment door behind me… I didn’t wake him up. What does Mercy do to him?
After starting my car, I saw that my tank was on the red “E”. To my dismay, I had no time to fill the tank with gas or I’d be late, and I cannot disappoint Jillian again. I took the bus.
I paid the fare, than took my seat in the very back. The bus was full of people in their business suits, on their way to work. I took a two-seater and sat on the very inside, pleased that I could have my choose of where to site. Then, I turned to my right to see a woman had sat herself right next to me… Even though there were plenty of seats in the front of the bus!
“Excuse m-!” I was cut off by the woman showing her familiar face. Mercy sat next to me, her black eyes glaring down at me, her hands in her lap, ruffling her red dress. She leaned down towards my face, and I arched my back, trying to stay away from her.
“You interrupted me last night, you know?” She scowled and her breath smelled of death. I didn’t know what to say…! “You KNOW that, right?”
“Y- yes.” She intimidated me this morning, I couldn’t say anything else but what she wanted to hear.
“Well,” she continued, “don’t do it again. Or I might come into YOUR dreams.”
“Better me than him.” I stuck up for him, acting tough. Mercy saw right through me. “Regret’ll give you enough anyway.”
“What?” I asked.
“I hear you got a new one, you bad girl.” She snickered. I glanced around the bus, embarrassed, but none of the people seemed to care. They were all faced forward, reading the newspaper, checking their phones or looking out the window. I turned back to Mercy and quickly replied, “Yeah? So?”
“Well, I said that Regret will give you lots of trouble.” Mercy sighed, annoyed.
“Regret…!? Is that his name?”
“Of course it is, Roslyn.”
Mercy saying my name led me to ask her something else.
“Mercy,” I said. I said it calmly because I needed a straight answer. I. I needed an answer! “Where is Denzel?” Mercy laughed then said, “still thinking about him? Forget him! He’s in the PAST. It was your fault you killed someone else, child.”
“Where is he!” I said forcefully. Mercy sighed then said, “he’s waiting. Waiting to be matched with another human. There’s lots of us, you know!”
“Can I get him back?!”
Mercy chuckled very loudly then said, “no! He’s a Class 2 guardian. Are you insane? He only works with the people who have killed two others. Not three, like Regret and myself.”
“Is there any way possible I could have him back??”
“You really hold a grudge don’t you?” Mercy’s words pierced my mind like a knife. I didn’t hold any grudge, I just wanted him back. She continued with, “only if he ranks up to Class 3, but that usually takes years. So, just accept the fact that you’re a murderer, and you’ve murdered three times. Regret will be tons of fun.” She laughed, “oh believe me. We’ve worked side by side.”
“Mercy…!!!” She was gone, vanished. The people on the bus acted as if Mercy and I hadn’t just been yelling at each other for the past few minutes. What are these demons capable of?
…..
Work was quiet. The whole day seemed quiet. Until.
I was rustling some papers on my desk, trying to find the cover sheet of a novel I was reading, when a familiar touch caressed my shoulder. My eyes lit up, I was ecstatic…! Denzel! Without thinking, I rushed my hand to my shoulder to touch him, then, an immense burning sensation trickled through my bones and I pulled my hand away, to see third degree burns on them. I screamed out in pain and jerked myself forward, my chest hitting the front of my desk. I screamed for a fellow co worker to call 911, but he was smiling, talking on the phone to a client. I screamed as loud as I could, but no one came to help me.
“They can’t HEAR YOU!” Regret yelled, “Don’t WASTE your TIME, ROSLYN!!” My reflexes and mind told me to keep screaming, and I did. I then felt the freezing cold hands pull up my shirt sleeve and caress the scratches left from Denzel. “Did HE do this to YOU?” Regret’s voice was unbelievably eerie and his touch burned wherever his fingers moved. “I can do… BETTER!” He silenced me by putting his burning hand over my mouth. Tears fell from the corners of my eyes as I could not scream. “I get the feeling I’m unwelcome here?” My hands uncontrollably twitched for they burned with a pain I hadn’t felt in a long time. I felt my mouth begin to burn and singe and I wanted to push him away, but I knew I’d burn. He removed his hand from my mouth and I was about to scream, but I felt as if my voice had been taken away. On top of that, my mouth burned and tingled. Then, within an instant, Regret was gone and my hands felt normal, my mouth felt normal, and I let out a scream.
A few close-by co workers popped their heads up from behind their computer desks and Jillian calmly fast-walked into my office. She closed the glass door behind her, then, with a sinister smile, said, “what in the world are you doing? Are you alright?” I looked at my hands, then felt my lips.
“I’m sorry, Jillian. Sorry.” I grabbed the title page from my desk and placed it on the other pieces of paper in front of me. “I’m sorry. I’m almost finished with this book.”
“Okay then… Bye now.” Jillian scampered out of my office and went back to work, as did all the others. It took me a moment to collect myself, then I turned to my computer to get to work.
The work day ended at 5 with a final script being given to Jillian.
On the way home on the bus, I thought about my encounter with Mercy. I thought about all my encounters with Denzel and Regret. I thought about Lucas. Why is he in my life? We need to talk.
When I got home, I found Lucas reading a magazine, sitting on the right side of the couch. I walked around the other side of the couch and sat next to him. He took the magazine, tossed it on the broken coffee table, turned to me and said, “hey?”
“Hey. I think we should talk… about everything.” It took me forever to get out the words. This was serious, insanely serious. We were both sitting straight, our full attention focused on each other. After he raised his eyebrow, I felt I should start the talking. I began by getting right to the point. Scared out of my mind, I said “Lucas… Have you ever had feeling for your guardian demon…?”
“What?” Was his obvious reply. What am I doing?! I’m a fool! I should stop now! He thinks I’m crazy. No one would fall in love with-. I felt the words flow from my mouth like a flood. Unstoppable.
“…Have you ever fallen in love with your guardian?” I asked again.
“What are you getting at? No!” He said. He wasn’t lying, he was sincere.
My heart began to beat faster, he hasn’t? Mercy has the ideal body any woman would want. She’s beautiful, tall and thin, and has blonde hair like silk.
“Roslyn…” Lucas began, “Were you in love with Denzel?”
“I… I…”
“Oh my God… Roslyn…”
“It was just hard not to, Lucas… He’s almost everything I wanted in a man, except, you know… It’s like he knew that I wanted someone who was tall, handsome, mysterious…….. Lucas?” His head bobbed up from reflex and was staring deep into my eyes. I continued with, “how could you not have fallen in love with Mercy? Isn’t she everything you want in the opposite sex, too…?” He was completely silent. He looked at his fingers, turned his toes inward, then bit his bottom lip. I never saw him like this before. “Lucas?”
“God damnit, Roslyn, I…” He stuttered, “I don’t want to say it.”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to coax him into speaking, but I felt that I shouldn’t pry. I put my folded hands into my lap as I felt the sweat begin to leak through my fingers. The chill of the leather couch began to seep through my jeans and make its way up my body into my spine. It was killing me though, I needed to know what he was thinking. It could open so many possibilities for me… What if… What if Lucas is in love with me?
“I’m gay, Roslyn.”
It was about 3 in the morning when I felt it necessary to find something to eat. I quietly opened the bedroom door and peered into the hallway, even though I knew nothing and no one would be there. I then walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. To my right I saw Lucas passed out on the couch, a mess of popcorn on his stomach. He was still watching the television when I had left for my room. The tv on mute gave enough light for me to pull a bag of chips out of the cabinet. I set the bag on the counter, opened it, and began to eat some. I wasn’t terribly hungry, so I ate slowly. I watched the early morning shows on tv, watching the hosts’ mouths speak, finding it fun to try and figure out what they’re saying.
Then, I heard something hit the floor and scatter, quietly. I picked my head up higher and looked at Lucas who had rolled over on the couch. The empty bowl of popcorn was on the floor, rocking back and forth, and Lucas was rolled on his side, cuddling the empty air. I then saw the strangest thing I’ve ever seen Lucas do. His arms shot up to his chest, and he rolled over, back onto his back, and he arched himself, raising his chest into the air. I watched in fear as I saw beads of sweat roll down his face. I watched as his breath increased and his chest was rising and lowering heavily.
I couldn’t bare it anymore and I ran to the front of the couch and began to shake him and say his name. First quietly, then louder, and louder. His eyes opened and his pupils dilated to just a tiny hole as he raised himself from the couch in a trance, he then put up his hand to slap me, in fear. I winced and brought my flat palms up to cover my face.
“R- Roslyn?!” Lucas panted. He put his hands back down to his side, “What time is it?”
“It’s about 3 in the morning last time I-…” I cut myself off, “What just happened to you?” He was still, quiet, and breathing heavily for quite some time until he could answer me properly.
“Mercy… I-…” He paused, “It’s nothing… You know.”
“But…. That looked…. Brutal…!!”
“It was!” Lucas was tense, irritated. “God, you don’t even know. You just WAIT!” I backed off slowly, then returned to my room.
4… 5… 6… I couldn’t get to sleep. All night, all I could hear was Lucas. Tortured. Screaming quietly. Dying on the inside. Nothing I can do.
That morning, when I entered the kitchen to gather my work papers, I saw that his ‘night terrors’ finally stopped. His back was no longer uncomfortably arched, his sweat was still, his breathing was normal.
I did my best to keep quiet, and I succeeded after shutting the apartment door behind me… I didn’t wake him up. What does Mercy do to him?
After starting my car, I saw that my tank was on the red “E”. To my dismay, I had no time to fill the tank with gas or I’d be late, and I cannot disappoint Jillian again. I took the bus.
I paid the fare, than took my seat in the very back. The bus was full of people in their business suits, on their way to work. I took a two-seater and sat on the very inside, pleased that I could have my choose of where to site. Then, I turned to my right to see a woman had sat herself right next to me… Even though there were plenty of seats in the front of the bus!
“Excuse m-!” I was cut off by the woman showing her familiar face. Mercy sat next to me, her black eyes glaring down at me, her hands in her lap, ruffling her red dress. She leaned down towards my face, and I arched my back, trying to stay away from her.
“You interrupted me last night, you know?” She scowled and her breath smelled of death. I didn’t know what to say…! “You KNOW that, right?”
“Y- yes.” She intimidated me this morning, I couldn’t say anything else but what she wanted to hear.
“Well,” she continued, “don’t do it again. Or I might come into YOUR dreams.”
“Better me than him.” I stuck up for him, acting tough. Mercy saw right through me. “Regret’ll give you enough anyway.”
“What?” I asked.
“I hear you got a new one, you bad girl.” She snickered. I glanced around the bus, embarrassed, but none of the people seemed to care. They were all faced forward, reading the newspaper, checking their phones or looking out the window. I turned back to Mercy and quickly replied, “Yeah? So?”
“Well, I said that Regret will give you lots of trouble.” Mercy sighed, annoyed.
“Regret…!? Is that his name?”
“Of course it is, Roslyn.”
Mercy saying my name led me to ask her something else.
“Mercy,” I said. I said it calmly because I needed a straight answer. I. I needed an answer! “Where is Denzel?” Mercy laughed then said, “still thinking about him? Forget him! He’s in the PAST. It was your fault you killed someone else, child.”
“Where is he!” I said forcefully. Mercy sighed then said, “he’s waiting. Waiting to be matched with another human. There’s lots of us, you know!”
“Can I get him back?!”
Mercy chuckled very loudly then said, “no! He’s a Class 2 guardian. Are you insane? He only works with the people who have killed two others. Not three, like Regret and myself.”
“Is there any way possible I could have him back??”
“You really hold a grudge don’t you?” Mercy’s words pierced my mind like a knife. I didn’t hold any grudge, I just wanted him back. She continued with, “only if he ranks up to Class 3, but that usually takes years. So, just accept the fact that you’re a murderer, and you’ve murdered three times. Regret will be tons of fun.” She laughed, “oh believe me. We’ve worked side by side.”
“Mercy…!!!” She was gone, vanished. The people on the bus acted as if Mercy and I hadn’t just been yelling at each other for the past few minutes. What are these demons capable of?
…..
Work was quiet. The whole day seemed quiet. Until.
I was rustling some papers on my desk, trying to find the cover sheet of a novel I was reading, when a familiar touch caressed my shoulder. My eyes lit up, I was ecstatic…! Denzel! Without thinking, I rushed my hand to my shoulder to touch him, then, an immense burning sensation trickled through my bones and I pulled my hand away, to see third degree burns on them. I screamed out in pain and jerked myself forward, my chest hitting the front of my desk. I screamed for a fellow co worker to call 911, but he was smiling, talking on the phone to a client. I screamed as loud as I could, but no one came to help me.
“They can’t HEAR YOU!” Regret yelled, “Don’t WASTE your TIME, ROSLYN!!” My reflexes and mind told me to keep screaming, and I did. I then felt the freezing cold hands pull up my shirt sleeve and caress the scratches left from Denzel. “Did HE do this to YOU?” Regret’s voice was unbelievably eerie and his touch burned wherever his fingers moved. “I can do… BETTER!” He silenced me by putting his burning hand over my mouth. Tears fell from the corners of my eyes as I could not scream. “I get the feeling I’m unwelcome here?” My hands uncontrollably twitched for they burned with a pain I hadn’t felt in a long time. I felt my mouth begin to burn and singe and I wanted to push him away, but I knew I’d burn. He removed his hand from my mouth and I was about to scream, but I felt as if my voice had been taken away. On top of that, my mouth burned and tingled. Then, within an instant, Regret was gone and my hands felt normal, my mouth felt normal, and I let out a scream.
A few close-by co workers popped their heads up from behind their computer desks and Jillian calmly fast-walked into my office. She closed the glass door behind her, then, with a sinister smile, said, “what in the world are you doing? Are you alright?” I looked at my hands, then felt my lips.
“I’m sorry, Jillian. Sorry.” I grabbed the title page from my desk and placed it on the other pieces of paper in front of me. “I’m sorry. I’m almost finished with this book.”
“Okay then… Bye now.” Jillian scampered out of my office and went back to work, as did all the others. It took me a moment to collect myself, then I turned to my computer to get to work.
The work day ended at 5 with a final script being given to Jillian.
On the way home on the bus, I thought about my encounter with Mercy. I thought about all my encounters with Denzel and Regret. I thought about Lucas. Why is he in my life? We need to talk.
When I got home, I found Lucas reading a magazine, sitting on the right side of the couch. I walked around the other side of the couch and sat next to him. He took the magazine, tossed it on the broken coffee table, turned to me and said, “hey?”
“Hey. I think we should talk… about everything.” It took me forever to get out the words. This was serious, insanely serious. We were both sitting straight, our full attention focused on each other. After he raised his eyebrow, I felt I should start the talking. I began by getting right to the point. Scared out of my mind, I said “Lucas… Have you ever had feeling for your guardian demon…?”
“What?” Was his obvious reply. What am I doing?! I’m a fool! I should stop now! He thinks I’m crazy. No one would fall in love with-. I felt the words flow from my mouth like a flood. Unstoppable.
“…Have you ever fallen in love with your guardian?” I asked again.
“What are you getting at? No!” He said. He wasn’t lying, he was sincere.
My heart began to beat faster, he hasn’t? Mercy has the ideal body any woman would want. She’s beautiful, tall and thin, and has blonde hair like silk.
“Roslyn…” Lucas began, “Were you in love with Denzel?”
“I… I…”
“Oh my God… Roslyn…”
“It was just hard not to, Lucas… He’s almost everything I wanted in a man, except, you know… It’s like he knew that I wanted someone who was tall, handsome, mysterious…….. Lucas?” His head bobbed up from reflex and was staring deep into my eyes. I continued with, “how could you not have fallen in love with Mercy? Isn’t she everything you want in the opposite sex, too…?” He was completely silent. He looked at his fingers, turned his toes inward, then bit his bottom lip. I never saw him like this before. “Lucas?”
“God damnit, Roslyn, I…” He stuttered, “I don’t want to say it.”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to coax him into speaking, but I felt that I shouldn’t pry. I put my folded hands into my lap as I felt the sweat begin to leak through my fingers. The chill of the leather couch began to seep through my jeans and make its way up my body into my spine. It was killing me though, I needed to know what he was thinking. It could open so many possibilities for me… What if… What if Lucas is in love with me?
“I’m gay, Roslyn.”
