Phase 9

It was a rainy night.  He was drunk as hell, wasted, his “parent’s fault” he’d tell everyone.  He paced the streets at night, trying to find a meaning and a will to face tomorrow.  Age 19, drunk with nowhere to go.  He’d frequently fall off the curb and roll onto the street, laughing wildly and cars squealed around him, shouting out the window, “crazy as*hole, get out of the road”.  He didn’t hear them.  In fact, he didn’t hear anything but the irregular beating of his heart.

That night, he wield a gun on his left side, snug and held in by his belt.

That night, his sister came to find him.  She knew where he was.

That night, she found him passed out in an alley, again.

“Lucas”, she’d say, with her 17, innocent voice.  “Lucas, wake up.”  Lucas’s red eyes would open as the blood fell from his lips.

He staggered to stand with his sister’s help, then he pushed her away and he fell onto his shoulder against the brick wall.

“Lucas, we need to go home!” Her voice was drowned out by loud rain, so she yelled it louder.  Lucas pulled his gun out and pointed it at her.  She stepped back and said, “W-what are you doing?!”

“I’m tired of you!  Always telling me what to do!  You and mom!  And dad!”

It was 2 AM and all that could be heard was a distant car, maybe two, driving slowly down the glossy, drenched streets.  The alley seemed quiet too, yet the rain was pounding harder than ever before.  Adrian put her hands in front of her, as if a traffic director, telling the car in front to stop.  Adrian said, “Lucas, please.  Just come home.  Everyone’s worried about you.”

“Bull sh*t!”

“We all want you back, please?  Just come home, out of the rain, too.”

Lucas bit the side of his upper lip and glared at Adrian.  “Fuck that!” He yelled, “Screw you Adrian!  Why’d you have to be so damn perfect?  Go to hell!”

Two shots.  One to Adrian’s head.  And one to his gut.


That was the beginning of the revolution inside Lucas’s mind.  That was the day Mercy came into his life, and that was the day Mercy made a home in him.


Adrian was on the ground, soaking wet, and so was Lucas.  Except Lucas was alive.

I had to visit Lucas, I had to.  I felt that something was calling me back to him; but when I reached the hospital, the nurse informed me that he had been released Tuesday morning.  I had just missed him.

Quickly, I whipped out my cell phone and dialed his number.  After the third ring it felt hopeless, but then he answered.

“Hello?” He said in a normal tone.

“L- Lucas?” I asked.

“Roslyn…” He began, “They told me you visited me…  Look, I don’t remember much.  But thank you.  I was under a lot of medication.”

I was silent.

“Roslyn?” I heard him ask after a moment.

“Oh.” I said, snapping back, “Sorry.  Uh, yeah, I visited.”

“Why do you sound so strange?” He asked.

“Look,” I began, “You told me something.”


“You told me about…”

“Roslyn.  Stop.  Don’t struggle…  I think I remember what I told you…  Look, I wanted to tell you that night, but I’m sorry about what happened.  Look, I understand if you don’t feel the same way.”

“What?” I said.  We weren’t on the same page anymore.

“Roslyn, I like you a lot.” Then he paused, “Oh my God, I’m sorry, that’s what I told you that night when you visited right?”  I took a deep breath.  So much was shooting through my mind.  I lied.

“Yes.  That was it.”  For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that he told me about Mercy.

“Ok, well, if you don’t feel the-.”

“Lucas…” I said, still in shock, “I don’t know.”

“That’s all right.” He said, his tone dropping, obviously disappointed.  Men are so easy to see through.  “Hey, meet me at Hardrock tonight, would you?  Six?”



Six o’clock rolled around quicker than I expected.  I got to the café fifteen of, so I waited on the beach for him.  And again, next to me was a set of footprints that weren’t getting blown over with sand.  I smiled, I’m not sure why, but I liked this feeling.  Then, my smile faded.

“I said it was your last chance.” Denzel said.  “I’ve given you too many.”  His foot prints vanished.

“Roslyn.” I turned to see Lucas walking towards me, kicking up the sand behind him.  “Hey, we need to talk.”  I nodded and he stopped about a foot in front of me.  “I’m going to be very blunt.  I’m going to get to the point.  No more beating around the bush.  There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.  It’s important.  It’s something-.”

“Lucas.” I raised an eyebrow.  He cleared his throat then said, “The marks on your shoulder.” I looked down at my feet as he continued.  “I know you have one.”

“I know you have one, too.” It stumbled out of my mouth like the waves on the beach.

“What?  How?” Lucas said, “You don’t even know what I’m talking abou-.”

“Sure I do.” I interrupted him.  “Mercy.  I know.”

“Oh my God.” He said, “Wow.”

“I know you killed your sister…  You told me at the hospital…”  We both took a deep breath.  Lucas then said, “What’s his name?”

“Denzel.” I said, quietly, afraid that the moth would be listening.

“Denzel…” He said, “Is he…?”

“Nice?” I asked, “He used to be.  Look, it’s a long story.  But…  He doesn’t want me to see you.  He doesn’t want me to see you because you have a guardian, as well.”

“A guardian?” Lucas raised and eyebrow, “I wouldn’t call them guardians.  ‘Guardian’ is usually associated with ‘angel’, and these ‘guardians’ are far from angels.  They’re like devils.”

“That’s true.  But.” I stopped myself.  I wanted to tell Lucas about how before I showed affection towards Denzel, he was so sweet to me.  But I felt that it was necessary that I shouldn’t touch that topic.  Ever again.

“You’re not cold out here?” Lucas said, being the gentleman and starting to take off his coat.

“No, I’m used to it.”

“Me too.”

It was quiet for a long time.  All we could hear was the tumbling and rumbling of the ferocious waves at sea.  I had to break the silence with a terrible realization.

“Again,” I began, “Denzel doesn’t want me to see you because of Mercy.  I don’t know why, but I guess these kinds of guardians shouldn’t meet… or something…”

“No, Roslyn.” He clenched his teeth, “I finally found someone like me, and I don’t want to lose that.  We’ll find a way!”

“I don’t know.  You know they just… show up.”

“We’ll find a way.”  Lucas turned to leave and he said, “I’ll be seeing you again soon.”  I watched his feet as he left, then, another set of footprints appeared next to him, and they both trailed off.  Denzel then set his hands on my shoulders and he said, “you’re such a fool.”

Phase 8 ----- Phase 10